she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We left an ass print on the piano.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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