No stitches, just platelets and will power
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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