So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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