I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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