Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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