Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
