I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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