when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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