hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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