So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
