Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
