Just cropdusted the office
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
