She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize