It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
