The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
