the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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