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I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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