sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
