I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
