I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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