Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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