she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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