I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
