If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
