I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Couch. On fire.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize