i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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