I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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