Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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