worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
