I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Randomize
