Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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