The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My ass is underappreciated
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
