I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
