The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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