What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
