I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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