I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
