this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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