thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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