I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he was CRYING into my vagina
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
