You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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