She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
