so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
