Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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