so explain again why im purple
no
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize