u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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