yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
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FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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