i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
