Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
