Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
