I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
