idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
