speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize