i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize