i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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