Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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