So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
