He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
