Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
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i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
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