You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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