Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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