when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize