i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
